I love the MV. That is what YOLO means.
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I love kittens.
Special thanks to Spin who made me discover such useless video.
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It’s Kingsley, bitch!
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This website is so useless, it is entertaining and shows how humans’s standards lowered to an extreme.
No link whatsoever with the post, but I love Pikachu so I had to show this.
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Special thanks to K from Russia who sent me these last two links.
If you have videos or links to share, please put them. I will save them for Procrastination Time.
Hello. I thought I needed to update this thing that I call a blog because it seems I still gets some visitors that are interested in what I have to say.
This is a post that talks about the Oh Naturally Skinny CCK.
Well. No, not ”naturally”.
I think that if any of you guys had any doubts about if whether or not Chocolate Covered Katie had some history with an ED, you should know this. All credit goes to GOMIer Meow, who with her GOMI detective skills, managed to start the investigation.
Here’s her original post, which I cleaned up a bit to make it shorter, that will destroy the heart of all the white knights and recovering anorexic minions:
From 2002 – 2003, which is when she was trying to gain weight, she posted on Vegsource.com forums under the alias of Lilliana. This can be confirmed by the email address she supplies (veggieprincess@msn.com, which is CCK’s) and the IP address. She also mentions living in Japan and Texas multiple times. Here.
CCK was an active poster on the site.
“My doctor told me today that a person cannot recover from anorexia without taking Prozac b/c of something to do with the serotonin levels in the brain of an anorexic. She said that since anorexia is an obsessive compulsive disorder, drugs must be used, along with therapy and trying very hard, to recover from it. I am very wary of taking these mind-altering drugs (I hate putting ANY kind of foreign substance in my body- it’s the control thing). I really believe I can beat this without drugs considering I am not in as bad of shape as many other anorexics b/c I never starved myself (I ate 5 meals every day and took in about 1600 calories according to my nutritionist… but even still, I have anorexia. It’s complicated). The first week after being diagnosed, I even gained six pounds! So, is my doctor right? Do I HAVE to take the scary blue pills? Or can I avoid them if I continue to try REALLY REALLY hard?
(Source)
Thanks!
-Liliana “
So she was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa.
“From: Liliana(12-239-184-39.client.attbi.com)
Subject: Anyone been told that their heart was leaking? (msg)
Date: May 16, 2003 at 4:35 pm PSTI figured this was the best board to ask on b/c it seems off-topic on the veganism board and b/c the cardiologisttold me I have the heart of an anorexic. It’s so weird b/c I have never had an eating disorder and I eat so much (but that’s not the point).”
In denial about it, but she showed physical signs. (NOTE: I did some digging and she admits to Anorexia Nervosa, see below). Search “Liliana anorexia” on the site and you’ll find it. There are also many, many food logs posted by her. I tried to find her on fitday.com, but I can’t.
Off-Topic. I just love Pikachu.
I did some more digging that you might be interested in:
Here is where she ADMITS to an eating disorder (with the proof that Liliana really IS Katie).
Btw, how did you know I was anorexic? I ask b/c someone else just recently confessed that the first time I ate with him and his family, he knew I had an eating disorder (his daughter had had one, so he recognized in me the same eating patterns she had).
Here is where you would want to rip your hair off for believing in all her fucking lies.
I wonder what they’d do if I told them I’d throw up if they made me take medication… I’ve never pruged before, but I would probably consider it if they force fed me the medication. Yeah, they’d probably put me in the hospital, so that plan wouldn’t work.Yeah, I do think that group therapy would be good, but I just KNOW I will start comparing myself to the others and start to feel inadequate b/c I am not the best at being really thin
Oh wait, here. That’s better.
I never thought I had anorexia b/c I do eat- a ton. Usually I have three big meals and three snacks too. But apparently you can eat a lot and still have anorexia. I have most of the physical symptoms (the heart problems, the low blood pressure that changes when I stand, being more than 15% below normal weight, having lost weight, etc.) and most of the mental ones as well- fear of gaining weight, guilt after eating too much, etc. (I didn’t count calories religiously, but if anything, that was the problem b/c I thought I was eating more calories than I actually was). I also cut my food up into small pieces, take an eternity to eat, and drink lots of water… oh and I am a perfectionist and control freak. So when I searched online and on every site, found that I had basically all the symptoms, I had to face reality (I still don’t like the way my cardiologist treated me, though. Even my nutritionist and pediatrician think that she could have treated me with more respect and all).As I said in my other post, I am sorry for lying and saying I didn’t have an ED, but I was lying to myself, too.
To wrap up this post, I think she should also be diagnosed with Over-linking-and-recycling-old-recipe-to-make-money Disorder and Fake-cutesy-attitude-to-make-money Disorder.
ETA: Seems like someone already did the digging (you can see I haven’t been really reading GOMI these past months…)! There’s also an ”explanation” from CCK. That girl must have been wetting her pants when she saw this.
Hi bitches.
No, I didn’t relapse.
No, I wasn’t in treatment.
I was just sick and tired to live under the same roof as my mom as we cannot stand each other. So one day, as the impulsive girl that I am, I decided I had enough and left the house for 3 months. I came back because I couldn’t work enough hours to pay my rent and going to school at the same time.
I’M COMING BACK GANGNAM STYLE.
Today’s topic is people who get annoyed at others who are talking about diets.
Here’s the original post:
There are SO. MANY. GIRLS at my school who skip lunch and say, “Yeah, it’s my only chance not to eat today. When I go to college, I’m just not going to eat again.” Then I see them at the McDonald’s drive-thru after school getting a Big Mac, and I get so frustrated. I ABSOLUTELY HATE wannabe anorexics. If you WANT to have this disease, go right ahead. Be cold all the time, never make plans with with your friends because you’re scared they’ll make you eat, obsess over food, hurt your butt and spine every time you sit, faint all the time, be too weak to lift you backpack…. If you want all that, be my guest.
Sorry everyone, this just REALLY pissed me off.
*Sigh*
Come on, they are just little girls. Don’t fret.
Not as bad as the replies, though:
omg yes. I hate it when people talk about how little they’ve ate as if they see it as an acomplishment that they didn’t eat dinner last night.
Says a recovering anorexic.
As if you never felt that is was an accomplishment when you did it!
I can’t help but wonder if part of them are just jealous. Just saying, because I know I used to be.
There’s going to be so many people like that as you get older.
I just roll my eyes at them and shake my head. There’s no point in trying to explain to them that saying their ” going anorexic ” is just plain stupid. Same thing when people say ” omg i am soooo bipolar. I think I’m bipolar because I like cried for an hour and then like smiled “
Sometimes people are just stupid and don’t understand mental illness’s and don’t pay attention to anything around them. That’s why I can’t stand hanging out with people my age, THEY ARE SO STUPID and don’t pay attention to anything but themselves!
Oh. Because you don’t understand a mental illness, you are stupid and self-centered? What about you, dear recovering anorexic? What if I say that starving yourself is stupid? Do you know that when you are cancelling plans that involve food with your friends or not eating dinner with your family, you are not paying attention to their feelings, you are just paying attention to yourself? Isn’t that the same than those ”stupid people”?
One thing that I can’t stand is people having suffered or suffering from an ED acting like they know it all about health and nutrition, without any medical or nutrition degree.
EDs can really transform you into entitled, narcissist little brats.
Off to listen to Gangnam style.
ETA: Oups I forgot to proof read and they were some stuffs that didn’t made sense!
ETA: Read the comments, I find them to be much better than the post itself!
*Trigger Warning!*
Well, technically, it is not supposed to be triggering, but I don’t know how fucked up your brain is. After all, you never know with an ED. Anyway, take what I say with a grain of salt. I’m not saying you should not eat the magic 2500 calories because you are going to turn into a whale and that all members of CC are wrong. Use your freaking common sense.
In CC forums, if you are suffering from an ED and want to *gasp* eat healthy, you are listening to your ED. If you are suffering from an ED and want to *gasp* do some exercise, you are listening to your ED.*
*Obviously, I’m not talking about the orthorexics and those suffering from exercise compulsion. Use your freaking common sense, remember?
I eat junk food too. Probably a bit too much, but that’s not the question. The thing is, there’s no way I am going to claim all over the place that they are good for you and that you can have 5 brownies in one sitting.
Newsflash: having too many fries is not very healthy.
Sure, you won’t die from it. You can do it if you want. But don’t force your eating behaviors on others by labeling them as ‘’healthy’’ simply because you ‘’are not listening to your ED’’. In my opinion, if every time you eat a cookie, you think ‘’Oh, I’m not listening to ED, I’m going to have that cookie!’’, then sorry, but you are listening to ED.
Why?
Because you are linking everything you do or see to your ED. That, in my mind, is listening to ED.
Example from my memory:
Girl A: I kinda want a slice of pizza but it’s not healthy so my ED is freaking out…what do I do? I’m so scared of pizza! Is it ok to have it?
Girl B: YES. Get the pizza! Have a BIG slice, at that! Have as much as you want! You can even get the whole pizza, you need to gain!!! Don’t listen to ED, you are a star!!!
Oh, so if you don’t need to gain, then you can only have a small slice of pizza? I hate that they link ”Having to gain’’ with ‘’Eating’’. Like, why do you need to be reminded that you need to gain, that you have an ED, and all the crap…just eat. Period.
This made me laugh.
POST THE 9000 calorie eats! of course it’s allowed. tbh you’d be breaking a record on here and reactive eating is part of a normal person’s diet so go for it i say
you will be so inspiring and it will sure motivate me to say the least. i havent seen anybody here get 9000, so you’d be a record to beat!
Yes, it’s the 22 tbsp PB Record Girl that said that. No, I’m not kidding.
This makes me want to drive up a wall. You are going to feel better by seeing a 9000 cal eats? Really?!
I hope you are going to feel better after seeing someone’s binge and after seeing your name on the ”The Girl Who Ate X cals During Recovery” section of the Guinness book.
But I doubt she’s going to make it. As she said, 9000 calories is totally normal, after all.
Just a thought.
It’s a typical ED behavior to feed others. The recoverers on CC aren’t an exception.
Gosh, how many times have I seen the whole ‘’I just binged 3500cals and only went on a 15min run…what can I do?? I feel awful!’’, followed by ‘’For a teen that’s highly active like you, you need a minimum of 3500 sedentary! Don’t worry, you need to eat more because you are so active! Please eat more, you are damaging your metabolism!’’.
…What the hell.
And what saddens me is that, sometimes, those teens are very easily influenced, and they come back with a new thread: ”I’ve been told I’ve been under eating and damaging my metabolism. I have bumped my calorie intake, but I have gained 10lbs and am nearly at the top of the healthy weight range…will my metabolism ever repair??? 
”, only to get replies that are among the lines of ”Keep doing what you do, your metabolism will repair, trust me!”.
What are you, a soothsayer???!!
Awesome movie, by the way. Gave me a good laugh.
Another example. Girl A is freaking out about getting fat, Girl B is playing the doctor AND the soothsayer.
Girl B: yep, you can deffo eat that much and not get huge
Do you mind showing me your degree in clairvoyance and medicine, miss?
Also, a typical one…
not eating 3000minimum is restricting*
*I’m not saying you should not eat X amount. Eat what you need to, eat what you want to, I don’t give a fuck. It’s your body, it’s your life, I don’t care if you are restricting, eating normally, or binging. I’m saying that those CC members:
Girl A: I’m recovering as of the end of August. I’m currently in the gaining process. I’m also vegetarian and have a very healthy diet (but still getting my cals in). However, I find that I crave nuts a lot & feel like I eat too many of them. They are fit into my meal plan, but sometimes I just crave nuts like nuts! I mostly only eat raw almonds and cashews, but I’m wondering if I can have too much of a good thing. Sometimes I consume almost 1 c of nuts (throughout the day)! I’m just curious if anyone else has this problem?
Girl B: hey nuts are mega healthy and in recovery you cant eat enough of anything!
make you feel any better i normally eat 10-15 tbsp supermarket PB a day
so you are NOT eating too much nuts
I don’t want to get all philosophical here, but the definition of an argument is this:
Argument: A set of reasons and evidence in support of the claim to know.
An argument has 3 components:
Not only the premises (in recovery you cant eat enough of anything) aren’t true, the inference (I normally eat 10-15 tbsp supermarket PB a day) is illogical. Therefore, your conclusion (so you are NOT eating too much nuts) is not valid.
Nah, you’re just reactive-eating, buddy!
i ate 3000in a day and still ended up re-active eating, it can set in at any point, the important thing is that we respond to it posatively and embrace it , and once we do so, after a while, with no restricting afterwards, it will subside
It’s normal to be scared at the amount that you are eating in recovery because you are not used to it. But if you keep saying that ‘‘I’m reactive eating, I’m reactive eating’’, you are just focusing more on food and on your ED. Learn to just…eat. Period. If you keep saying that, when you’ll get to a healthy weight, chances are that you might be scared of eating because you might be ‘’reactive-eating’’ at a healthy weight. So stop putting a fucking label on everything you do: reactive-eating, binging, restricting…just eat, and try to not think of it too much. Only then you can lessen the food obsession.
Here’s an example Girl A is talking about binging problems, and is planning to restrict (basically, she needs people to baby-talk her and needs somebody to tell her to eat more because she’s skinny). Girl B is giving her that baby-talk. Girl C is backing up Girl B:
Girl B:
1. Your not binging, and yes restricting will lead to you “REACTIVE EATING” more
2. Yes, not eating what you NEED is restricting
3. Your dietitians are complete idiots, i cant see how they got their job tbh
Do you mind showing me your degree in medicine, smart ass?
Girl A! Listen to Girl B.
I went to see a dietitian too. And she had told me to eat 1600 calories a day and maintain. At first, my ED mind interpreted it as “you’re too fat to be eating 2500″ that’s why. But then I realised how stupid my dietitian was. I am underweight, I haven’t gotten my periods in forever, my bones are brittle, my hair falls out like crazy! 2500-3000++ calories is not only for WEIGHT GAIN. It’s to restore your body’s natural functions. You were doing so well! Dietitians spoil everything! If I were you, I’d listen to Beth. She’s more experienced and she’s come so far! Wouldn’t you rather believe someone who’s been through an ED than some dietitian who learned everything from a book?
Don’t let your ED win. Please.
My fucking god. First, that dietician never said that she was too fat to eat more. It’s her own fucked up disordered brain that twisted it around. Second, some doctors are very clueless about EDs, but a stranger on the internet is more, or as, clueless than them. Do you know the person’s blood test results? Do you know her blood pressure, her heart rate? Giving medical advice (especially when you are not even out of high school) is completely irresponsible, and a sad attempt at being ‘’Oh so helpful to others in recovery’’. Stop it with your holier-than-thou attitude, and mind your own health.
Sure, your starved body will get in a shock when you’ll start to feed him properly, but don’t be foolish. Use common sense. If you ”reactive-eat” every single day for a prolonged period of time…well, you might not want to hear this, but at some point, if you continue to blame everything on ”reactive-eating”, you might be disregarding the real issue. Could be restricting during the day and stuffing yourself at night, could be emotional eating, etc…or it could be simply binging. I know that for me, it all happened so fast, yet so slowly. I kept my eyes closed instead of using common sense.
I hate that. They make it sound as if you can only binge if you have AN Binge/Purge type. This is contributing to the whole ”AN Restrictive type is so much more glamourous than Bulimia!” stereotype.
BED is waaaaaaay different, someone who has experienced a restricting EDs cannot develop this as a BED involves no ability to restrict whatsoever due to many under lying reasons (before you ask no, you dont have BED, youve restricted in the past, your reactive eating, its different, yada yada)
*picks up a mega phone and scream down your ear to ED* [YOU ARE] REACTIVE EATING, STOP MESSING AROUND AND TRYING TO CONVINCE HERE OTHERWISE! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
please just trust me on this one
I can’t.
Just…no.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
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This is a scheduled post because I’m on a mini trip, so if there is any comment, I’ll be replying to them later.
*Trigger Warning!*
Well, technically, it is not supposed to be triggering, but I don’t know how fucked up your brain is. After all, you never know with an ED. Anyway, take what I say with a grain of salt. I’m not saying you should not eat the magic 2500 calories because you are going to turn into a whale and that all members of CC are wrong. Use your freaking common sense.
As some of you might know, I was a CalorieCount member for a while. I used the forums to try to get support for my ED recovery, and well…we know how successful this has proven to be. If you are not familiar with the site, you might not get the post. And it’s better this way, trust me.
Anyway, a lot of stuffs bugged me. As I listed my pet peeves, I realized that I had so many that they would not fit into one post, hence the ”Part 1” in the title. Today, we are going to focus on the Gushy Gushy Talk, aka the baby-talking, the cutesy language, the ”oh you’re so inspiring” crap that is going on in the Weight Gain and Health & Support forums.
As soon as someone says something like:
I decided that ED is NOT going to win,…..I am ready to kick ED’s ass and never restrict another day in my life*
all the ED recoverer sheep are replying the same thing:
you are SO inspiring to everyone else, your a star, ily muchly ^^**
You know what? How do you know you are never going to restrict? Talking is one thing, doing it is another thing.
*And then 2 days later, the same person posts a 1500cals meal plan filled with salad + mustard dressing, and 35calories yogurts with her exercise listed and talks about how she is ”back on track and not letting ED win”.
So…that was your idea of ”never restricting”? Wow, how inspirational of you…
**WTF. ”ily muchly”???!!! Did you sniffed powdered sugar sprinkles?!!
Whenever somebody complains about somebody having commented on ‘how much they eat’ (therefore, implying that they eat too much and that they are fat) or complains about somebody wanting to lose weight (therefore, being super triggering and inconsiderate), their ED recovery buddies roll around and go all:
What is wrong with people in today’s society?
They seem beyond rude and ignorant, keep doing what’s right for you. You’re such an inspiration, I’m so proud of all your progress.
Like other posters said, don’t panic and make them seem like the ignorant idiots they are.
So basically, everybody who says something that your disordered brain doesn’t like or that your disordered brain twisted is an ignorant idiot.
Your nutritionist/doctor can get lost! He/She doesn’t have any experience with ED, don’t listen to him/her!
…because I’m sure that, you, a 14 years old who has an eating disorder and attempting recovery, went to medical school and got a degree in nutrition or medicine. Everybody should take your advice, oh, Amazing 14 Years Old Inspirational Recovery Role Model.
They tell about their struggles to a bunch of strangers on the internet just so they want to get baby-talked and cuddled up like a 5 year old. This was posted in the ”How did you challenge your ED” thread:
i was low for 2 days and neeeeded to make sure i got there yesterday and at bedtime i had 14 tbsp crunchy supermarket peanut butter loaded with salt and sugar.
i then threw the jar out cus the guilt is over-riding
Ok. How is that ”challenging your ED”? What do you want us to say, that you are ”OMG AN INSPIRATION FOR EATING PEANUT BUTTER” or that you are ”OMG AN INSPIRATION FOR EATING PEANUT BUTTER SO DON’T LET ED GET TO YOU! DON’T FEEL GUILTY LOVIE!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!”.
I don’t know about you, but the more I’m progressing into my recovery, the more I don’t feel the need to shout my struggles all over the place. If you need to ”get it out”, talk to a therapist, a friend in real life or via PM, a parent…doing it over the web like this is just screaming ”attention seeker”.
They are just repeating the same thing over and over. Ever noticed how they all talk about the same stuffs? It seems as if they say those things just so that they can ”belong” to the ED Recoverers Clique.
yesterday i ate load of peanut butter ive tried to stop eating it at night but failing cus i neve get enough cals on in the morning. so i had 5 tbsp and fresh fig for dinner but then a massive supper. i never had fruit in the evening either so..
loads and loads of PB with fresh dates and a PB & banana smoothie.
and then i met 3000 but thought forget it and got 2 more big tbsp PB. so i had 3200. with PB and sugary fruit.
ED made me SO guilty, but i beat it haha!
i normally restrict before my weigh in too and i havent
You know what? I don’t give a fucking rat ass. Sorry, but it’s true. You want what, recognition from strangers? You want strangers to congratulate you for recovering? Sure I can understand that. But you’ll never recover if you don’t do it for yourself and keep imitating other recoverers, just so that you can belong to a group that gives you recognition. And a group composed of strangers from Internet, at that…pathetic.
Like a bunch of screaming 12 years old little children playing ”recovery”. Again, in the ”How did you challenged your ED” thread, one girl even kept a record of the amount of peanut butter she ate, and encouraged others to try to beat her.
Girl A: Had nutella and chocolate o’s despite telling myself not to eat dinner.
Had jiff too.
I need to stop eating pb out of the jar.
Girl B: why stop, did you beat my 14 tbsp record
Girl A: AND I think i beat you Girl B. >:-) You gotta catch up fool! haha
Girl B: noooooo
*hands over award winning trophy*
An award winning trophy.
A fucking effing winning award trophy.
For eating freaking peanut butter.
Someone pass me the garbage can, because I’m gonna puke.
Oh, and last time I checked, Girl B was swelling with pride because her new record was 21 or 22 tbsp.
I think Girl B needs to hand the trophy to this fella.
Recovery is not a fucking game, bitch. Grow the fuck up and go burn some calories by picking up the phone and calling Guinness Worlds Records.
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I’ll finish this post on that note, because this is driving me BONKERS. As you can see, I had to go over there to refresh my memories and take some quotes, and gosh…the stupidities I saw!! Even worse than what I’ve been used to. I almost threw my laptop across the room. You guys better enjoy the CC Pet Peeves series, because I’m fuming right now. I need a drink. Bye.
You guys might be (or not) surprised by how much those HLB/Inspiration Role Models lie or are misleading you:
They are no Pringle. They are Lays.
Lay's, you are a liar!!
Believe me. I know a few big/popular bloggers that claim to be ED free, but they either:
You know, that Seventeen mag? Well, they are doing some kind of Healthy Living movement and chose 3 young bloggers to give tips about healthy living. Or more recently, 2 bloggers, because according to the mag, Taralynn ‘dropped out of the program by herself’. Personally, I think she has been kicked out after several people complained to Seventeen about this girl having an eating disorder and promoting anorexia.
Now, you might think ‘Oh, people are overreacting, nowadays every disordered people see disordered tendencies in everyone!’, which is understandable since a lot of ED recoverers are overly sensitive.
But this is batshit crazy. As in, there is no doubt that this girl has an ED, and lied to all of her followers. Note that she changed her username after she has been discovered, but people quoted her. Here’s a blog where there are proofs of her stealing people’s recipes and pictures, and photoshopping them onto her own plates.
So, all in all (because I know some of you just skimp the post and look for pictures of food or recipe, in vain):
Q: Which type of those misleading bloggers do you think is worse, those who are aware of their issues but don’t address it, or those who are in denial and perpetuate unhealthy behaviors?
By the way, sorry for the excessive linking. But since I’m not getting paid for blogging, I don’t feel bad about making you giving me page views.
So after 3 weeks, I have decided to write a post. I usually don’t post when I have nothing to say, but we’ll make an exception.
It’s short and all, but I’m pretty tired: it’s been a long week, I don’t think I can continue studying in the Health & Science program and my grades have been pretty shitty. White Asian girls’s #1 problem.
I'm so un-Asian.
The only highlight of the week is that I have been doing more volunteering work and it makes me feel a bit better about myself. It feels good to make others feel good.
So here it goes:
I don’t mind people telling me I’m a psycho (img 1), a bitch, crazy and all that shit.
img 1
But don’t fucking say I’m rude because I’m recovered (img 2).
img 2
I am NOT recovered.
I want it to be clear. People tend to assume I am because of the way I view things.
All in all, don’t say I’m recovered because I’m honest. Say I’m rude because I don’t cuddle people suffering from eating disorders.
P.S.: Oh yeah, don’t say you hate drama (img 3) when you publicly (img 4) intend to create drama and publicly gossip (img 5) about it.
img 3
img 4
img 5
It makes it easy for me to publicly snark on you if I’m in a bad mood (and I’m not snarking. I just needed an example of somebody who thinks I’m a psycho and recovered from my ED). As I said, everyone is allowed to say shit about me, but if you don’t want me to know about it, don’t say it all over the place. Common sense, people.
ETA: Just a note. The main point of this post was to make it clear that I am not recovered, not to say that those girls are mean and all that stuffs. I’m not hurt at all, people are allowed to not like me. It is just that the whole thing made me realize that some people think I am recovered when I’m not, and I don’t want to give the wrong impression that I am. Plus, the whole thing is kinda funny.
ETA: Had to put up the images because the questions were deleted. The Internet never forgets.
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Off Topic.
I’ve been listening to those songs (not Lady Gaga/Katy Perry/Justin Bieber types of songs).
Ok, maybe the last one is a bit of a ”Fallout Boy/Hedley” type of song.
And those are THE BEST ”Sh*t people say”, hands down:
