*Trigger Warning!*
Well, technically, it is not supposed to be triggering, but I don’t know how fucked up your brain is. After all, you never know with an ED. Anyway, take what I say with a grain of salt. I’m not saying you should not eat the magic 2500 calories because you are going to turn into a whale and that all members of CC are wrong. Use your freaking common sense.
As some of you might know, I was a CalorieCount member for a while. I used the forums to try to get support for my ED recovery, and well…we know how successful this has proven to be. If you are not familiar with the site, you might not get the post. And it’s better this way, trust me.
Anyway, a lot of stuffs bugged me. As I listed my pet peeves, I realized that I had so many that they would not fit into one post, hence the ”Part 1” in the title. Today, we are going to focus on the Gushy Gushy Talk, aka the baby-talking, the cutesy language, the ”oh you’re so inspiring” crap that is going on in the Weight Gain and Health & Support forums.
1. The ass-kissing and cutesy language.
As soon as someone says something like:
I decided that ED is NOT going to win,…..I am ready to kick ED’s ass and never restrict another day in my life*
all the ED recoverer sheep are replying the same thing:
you are SO inspiring to everyone else, your a star, ily muchly ^^**
You know what? How do you know you are never going to restrict? Talking is one thing, doing it is another thing.
*And then 2 days later, the same person posts a 1500cals meal plan filled with salad + mustard dressing, and 35calories yogurts with her exercise listed and talks about how she is ”back on track and not letting ED win”.
So…that was your idea of ”never restricting”? Wow, how inspirational of you…
**WTF. ”ily muchly”???!!! Did you sniffed powdered sugar sprinkles?!!
2. They sound like a bunch of spoiled crying babies.
Whenever somebody complains about somebody having commented on ‘how much they eat’ (therefore, implying that they eat too much and that they are fat) or complains about somebody wanting to lose weight (therefore, being super triggering and inconsiderate), their ED recovery buddies roll around and go all:
What is wrong with people in today’s society?
They seem beyond rude and ignorant, keep doing what’s right for you. You’re such an inspiration, I’m so proud of all your progress.
Like other posters said, don’t panic and make them seem like the ignorant idiots they are.
So basically, everybody who says something that your disordered brain doesn’t like or that your disordered brain twisted is an ignorant idiot.
Your nutritionist/doctor can get lost! He/She doesn’t have any experience with ED, don’t listen to him/her!
…because I’m sure that, you, a 14 years old who has an eating disorder and attempting recovery, went to medical school and got a degree in nutrition or medicine. Everybody should take your advice, oh, Amazing 14 Years Old Inspirational Recovery Role Model.
3. Some of them are so freaking attention-seeking.
They tell about their struggles to a bunch of strangers on the internet just so they want to get baby-talked and cuddled up like a 5 year old. This was posted in the ”How did you challenge your ED” thread:
i was low for 2 days and neeeeded to make sure i got there yesterday and at bedtime i had 14 tbsp crunchy supermarket peanut butter loaded with salt and sugar.
i then threw the jar out cus the guilt is over-riding 😦
Ok. How is that ”challenging your ED”? What do you want us to say, that you are ”OMG AN INSPIRATION FOR EATING PEANUT BUTTER” or that you are ”OMG AN INSPIRATION FOR EATING PEANUT BUTTER SO DON’T LET ED GET TO YOU! DON’T FEEL GUILTY LOVIE!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!”.
I don’t know about you, but the more I’m progressing into my recovery, the more I don’t feel the need to shout my struggles all over the place. If you need to ”get it out”, talk to a therapist, a friend in real life or via PM, a parent…doing it over the web like this is just screaming ”attention seeker”.
4. At a certain point, they all sound fake.
They are just repeating the same thing over and over. Ever noticed how they all talk about the same stuffs? It seems as if they say those things just so that they can ”belong” to the ED Recoverers Clique.
yesterday i ate load of peanut butter ive tried to stop eating it at night but failing cus i neve get enough cals on in the morning. so i had 5 tbsp and fresh fig for dinner but then a massive supper. i never had fruit in the evening either so..
loads and loads of PB with fresh dates and a PB & banana smoothie.
and then i met 3000 but thought forget it and got 2 more big tbsp PB. so i had 3200. with PB and sugary fruit.
ED made me SO guilty, but i beat it haha! 😀 i normally restrict before my weigh in too and i havent
You know what? I don’t give a fucking rat ass. Sorry, but it’s true. You want what, recognition from strangers? You want strangers to congratulate you for recovering? Sure I can understand that. But you’ll never recover if you don’t do it for yourself and keep imitating other recoverers, just so that you can belong to a group that gives you recognition. And a group composed of strangers from Internet, at that…pathetic.
5. They make recovery sound like a fun game.
Like a bunch of screaming 12 years old little children playing ”recovery”. Again, in the ”How did you challenged your ED” thread, one girl even kept a record of the amount of peanut butter she ate, and encouraged others to try to beat her.
Girl A: Had nutella and chocolate o’s despite telling myself not to eat dinner.
Had jiff too.
I need to stop eating pb out of the jar.
Girl B: why stop, did you beat my 14 tbsp record 😉 ?
Girl A: AND I think i beat you Girl B. >:-) You gotta catch up fool! haha
Girl B: noooooo 😛
*hands over award winning trophy* 😀
An award winning trophy.
A fucking effing winning award trophy.
For eating freaking peanut butter.
Someone pass me the garbage can, because I’m gonna puke.
Oh, and last time I checked, Girl B was swelling with pride because her new record was 21 or 22 tbsp.
I think Girl B needs to hand the trophy to this fella.
Recovery is not a fucking game, bitch. Grow the fuck up and go burn some calories by picking up the phone and calling Guinness Worlds Records.
—
I’ll finish this post on that note, because this is driving me BONKERS. As you can see, I had to go over there to refresh my memories and take some quotes, and gosh…the stupidities I saw!! Even worse than what I’ve been used to. I almost threw my laptop across the room. You guys better enjoy the CC Pet Peeves series, because I’m fuming right now. I need a drink. Bye.
Asian B*tch 
haaaaahaha
I tried this website out for like, 3 days. Shit like this drove me up the fucking WALL man:
“This is an example day plan that my dietician gave me, is it enough that I would really be gaining a lot? It feels like so much. I HAVE NOT BEEN EATING THIS. I have been trying to work up to this” [followed by healthy meal plan]
I love how she put the most important part in quotes. Like, just so we don’t mistakenly think she’s eating like a fatty.
*in CAPS, not quotes.
I know, they all either:
1) want reassurance that staying in their ED is fine
2) want people to tell them it’s not OK to stay in their ED and telling them to stay strong, that they are beautiful, not fat, that they are not going to gain on this, etc. Like, take responsibilities, it’s your own freaking life.
yes yes thankyou! This stuff is driving me nuts. I try to avoid CC because it’s just too much for me. But on FB I’m steadily defriending people because they or their friends do this ^^ CRAP. And the worst offenders don’t even HAVE real Eds IMO. Because they don’t make it sound like the hell that an ED is. They make it sound like yes, a childish GAME.
Everyone wants to be a special fragile but miraculously brave snowflake in recovery from an Ed. If I see ONE MORE photo of someone with “RECOVERY <3<3<3" plastered across it, I'ma gonna puke.
And that peanut butter stuff is called bingeing in my world…
I'm so fed up and over it all. I want them to SHUT up and GROW up. Seriously.
But Fiiiiiiiii!!!!! It’s not bingeing!!! It’s ”reactive eating”!! Anorexics CAN’T binge, it’s been decided so in the CC forums!
^SKD@*$(YEWIJHUdszwa432q#@Q$@WH.
More on that ”reactive eating” later…I can only get pissed off about one thing at once.
The moment you start to ”publicize” your recovery, I can’t help but wonder if you really have an ED, or just an attention seeking problem. Wtf is with this ”tragedy-emo-beautiful-recoverer” trend?! The ones that has tumblrs are the worst: ”I want to be happy”, ”I need help”, ”I am hurting” pics plastered all over the place.
Reactive eating WTF? I must have been in a cave somewhere. Isn’t that sort of like emotional eating? Reactive eating for me would be “OMG I broke up with Prince Not So Charming, now I’m going to eat four family sized blocks of chocolate..”
I hate how tragedy/emo crap has become tied up with ED and even through to recovery. ED has NOTHING to do with EMO, unless the tendancy to be dark tragic punky moody emo is also genetically predisposed instead of just a bratty stage some people go through when they still have a lot of growing up to do.
I’m groaning at the moment because one of my local (soon not to be) friends has been doing the attention seeking thing to the Nth+1000th degree lately.. she’s finally gotten herself into hospital in a manipulative “I’ll kill myself if you don’t” way, and NOW she’s plastered photos of herself all over FB (as she does multiple times a day) this time holding handwritten signs – “Dear Dr [redacted], Do you really need to see my bones to see my pain?” and “Dear Dr [redacted] would you believe I was in pain if I weighed xxkg?”
We get it. You don’t think he gets HOW SICK YOU ARE.
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh (delete delete delete) 😦
I would reply:
”How tragically beautiful you are. Now go cry over ice cream, Drama Queen.”
or ”We don’t give a rate ass about your bones and your weight. Take responsibility for your own freaking life.”
I mean, do people with cancer or alcohol addiction plaster their FB wall with ”I’m in so much pain, look how much I suffer” statues??? Geez. There’s got to be a limit between eating disorder recovery and attention seeking disorder.
And anorexics can’t binge?????
What happened to AN type II?
Sheesh.
You might want to get some booze while reading my next post. It will drive you up a wall.
Oh dear, I might take your advice about the booze. And you have a good point about the cancer sufferers not posting it all over their walls.
Another reason pro-idiots make me mad is that it’s like a slap in the face for all of us who genuinely suffer. People would be horrified if someone WANTED to have CANCER. But it seems different with wanting to have an ED. If only I could give them mine…
I like yo style (of writing, in case that wasn’t clear). Agree with the revolting over-cutesiness.. by no means should you suffer in silence, but please.
Yeah. And if you don’t cuddle them, you are ”rude and insensitive!”
The worst is when they try to make you feel guilty for not baby-talking them: ”I was going to have a piece of cake, but now that you said that, I feel so sad, I’m not going to have it!”.
Puh-lease.
I don’t care that you are not going to eat this or that. It’s not my life, it’s yours. Have fun not eating cake.
… I think I just fell in love with you.
THANK YOU FOR THIS. SO MUCH!sd
We can get married.
I bet they have a CC wedding forum..
And what’s with the default avatars, they all seem to be puking, that or they have really long tongues!! Ironically appropriate (inappropriate?)
Hahaha! You’re right, they are so damn ugly. They are like the one on GOMI, so I kinda got used to it and never really paid attention to them.
They might be puking peanut butter.
It seems I am lucky to have escaped CC. I knew of its existence, but I never utilized it for any purpose. Nevertheless, I think this cutesy language disorder is one reason I never became too buddy-buddy with a lot of food/ED bloggers. Talking like an adult, as opposed to a preteen, is one of my many, many faults.
I honestly do not get the attention-seeking either… through any medium, when it comes to EDs. Yes, I have sick moments where, in my own mind, I am somehow “proud” of how disordered I just acted. But I remember when my bf really started to notice my strange behaviors, or my mom acted concerned about my appearance, I felt so embarrassed. And ashamed. Very, very, ashamed. I didn’t want them to know or think differently of me, just as much as I didn’t want them to “try and stop me.”
Anyway, that corgi eating the peanut butter looks exactly like mine 😀 corgis 4 lyfe.
I saw this and I was like, THIS IS RILEEEYYYY!!
I love dogs with pointy ears. They are so cute.
hahah, i think the same things about CC. esp the fucking ‘peanut butter record’. what the hell? i don’t care how many tbsp of pb someone can eat in one day. that is a weird contest between them or something.
honestly i think some of them are probably redirecting energy [previously used on the ED] into the CC forum drama and that’s just equally not getting them anywhere. oh, except one of them wins at the pb contest game.
btw, hiiiii, i missed you. i am back online now and hopefully will not disappear suddenly again. 😉
That just reminded me of 2 girls who created a fake CC member to ”encourage” people in recovery. They were like 15 or 16 BMI and created a member who gained to 18.5 BMI, was encouraging everybody to eat X amount, and they posted fake high cal meal plans.
I am a CC member. I somehow found your blog by searching for powdered peanut butter. I am absolutely DYING from laughter from your posts. PREACH IT, GURL! This is all so true hahaha!
LMAO! I think that one pb quote is from me like 1-2 years ago! xD I was so caught up in the whole “omg u ate unhealthy way to kick ed’s butt” thing lmao. CC people irritate the hell outta me, but then again sometimes I know im irritating af too. I just avoid asking cc people for anything anymore because all I will here is “OMG U HAVE ED NO EXERCISE OR DIETING FOR YOU” lol
Very probable. I remember you annoying the hell out of me. And PB annoys the hell out of me even more.
As for the CCers not answering Qs from people who had a history with ED: it’s just that people don’t want to be morally responsible if you are engaging in disordered behaviors. If not, cool. If yes, then do it without implicating the others, ya know. But hey, once a person with a history of ED, always a person with a history of ED. Gotta live with it.
Looking back at all my old comments annoys me. How fucking stupid xD Now everything about ED’s irritates me.