CC Pet Peeves Part 2: Unhealthy is the New Healthy

6 Mar

ETA: Read the comments, I find them to be much better than the post itself!

*Trigger Warning!*

Well, technically, it is not supposed to be triggering, but I don’t know how fucked up your brain is. After all, you never know with an ED. Anyway, take what I say with a grain of salt. I’m not saying you should not eat the magic 2500 calories because you are going to turn into a whale and that all members of CC are wrong. Use your freaking common sense.

In CC forums, if you are suffering from an ED and want to *gasp* eat healthy, you are listening to your ED. If you are suffering from an ED and want to *gasp* do some exercise, you are listening to your ED.*

*Obviously, I’m not talking about the orthorexics and those suffering from exercise compulsion. Use your freaking common sense, remember?

1. They are encouraging everybody that’s suffering from an ED to eat tons of unhealthy foods

I eat junk food too. Probably a bit too much, but that’s not the question. The thing is, there’s no way I am going to claim all over the place that they are good for you and that you can have 5 brownies in one sitting.

Newsflash: having too many fries is not very healthy.

Sure, you won’t die from it. You can do it if you want. But don’t force your eating behaviors on others by labeling them as ‘’healthy’’ simply because you ‘’are not listening to your ED’’. In my opinion, if every time you eat a cookie, you think ‘’Oh, I’m not listening to ED, I’m going to have that cookie!’’, then sorry, but you are listening to ED.

Why?

Because you are linking everything you do or see to your ED. That, in my mind, is listening to ED.

Example from my memory:

Girl A: I kinda want a slice of pizza but it’s not healthy so my ED is freaking out…what do I do? I’m so scared of pizza! Is it ok to have it?

Girl B: YES. Get the pizza! Have a BIG slice, at that! Have as much as you want! You can even get the whole pizza, you need to gain!!! Don’t listen to ED, you are a star!!!

Oh, so if you don’t need to gain, then you can only have a small slice of pizza? I hate that they link ”Having to gain’’ with ‘’Eating’’. Like, why do you need to be reminded that you need to gain, that you have an ED, and all the crap…just eat. Period.

This made me laugh.

2. Pushing bingeing behaviors by calling it ”Reactive Eating”.

POST THE 9000 calorie eats! of course it’s allowed. tbh you’d be breaking a record on here and reactive eating is part of a normal person’s diet so go for it i say ;) you will be so inspiring and it will sure motivate me to say the least. i havent seen anybody here get 9000, so you’d be a record to beat!

Yes, it’s the 22 tbsp PB Record Girl that said that. No, I’m not kidding.

This makes me want to drive up a wall. You are going to feel better by seeing a 9000 cal eats? Really?!

I hope you are going to feel better after seeing someone’s binge and after seeing your name on the ”The Girl Who Ate X cals During Recovery” section of the Guinness book.

But I doubt she’s going to make it. As she said, 9000 calories is totally normal, after all.

Just a thought.

3. They encourage everybody to eat more, even if it’s more than they need to.

It’s a typical ED behavior to feed others. The recoverers on CC aren’t an exception.

Gosh, how many times have I seen the whole ‘’I just binged 3500cals and only went on a 15min run…what can I do?? I feel awful!’’, followed by ‘’For a teen that’s highly active like you, you need a minimum of 3500 sedentary! Don’t worry, you need to eat more because you are so active! Please eat more, you are damaging your metabolism!’’.

…What the hell.

And what saddens me is that, sometimes, those teens are very easily influenced, and they come back with a new thread: ”I’ve been told I’ve been under eating and damaging my metabolism. I have bumped my calorie intake, but I have gained 10lbs and am nearly at the top of the healthy weight range…will my metabolism ever repair??? :(”, only to get replies that are among the lines of ”Keep doing what you do, your metabolism will repair, trust me!”.

What are you, a soothsayer???!!

Awesome movie, by the way. Gave me a good laugh.

Another example. Girl A is freaking out about getting fat, Girl B is playing the doctor AND the soothsayer.

Girl B: yep, you can deffo eat that much and not get huge ;) like others have said, you need to be eating 2500 minimum, andd 3000 if your a teen! Most teens do maintain on about 2500-3000 for instance, youll be able to maintain on similar cals to what you eat to gain, and you deffinatly DEFFINATELY wont get huge ;)

Do you mind showing me your degree in clairvoyance and medicine, miss?

Also, a typical one…

not eating 3000minimum is restricting*

*I’m not saying you should not eat X amount. Eat what you need to, eat what you want to, I don’t give a fuck. It’s your body, it’s your life, I don’t care if you are restricting, eating normally, or binging. I’m saying that those CC members:

  1. are unqualified to give advice. Especially if they are not even out of high school and their CV only has ”I am recovering from an ED and I know everything about reactive eating” on it.
  2. give stupid advice: ‘‘You need 3000cals sedentary to be maintaining if you are over 5 foot! Bump your cals! You are killing yourself!!!!!!”
  3. give stupid advice and are fucking hypocrite: ‘You need to gain to 24.9 BMI! If you are naturally thin, you will lose weight without even noticing it, but right now you are listening to your ED by not gaining to 24.9 BMI!” (saying this while having barely a 16 BMI)

4. They all go ‘‘I eat X servings of that at once, so you can too!’’.

Girl A: I’m recovering as of the end of August. I’m currently in the gaining process. I’m also vegetarian and have a very healthy diet (but still getting my cals in). However, I find that I crave nuts a lot & feel like I eat too many of them. They are fit into my meal plan, but sometimes I just crave nuts like nuts! I mostly only eat raw almonds and cashews, but I’m wondering if I can have too much of a good thing. Sometimes I consume almost 1 c of nuts (throughout the day)! I’m just curious if anyone else has this problem?

Girl B: hey nuts are mega healthy and in recovery you cant eat enough of anything!

make you feel any better i normally eat 10-15 tbsp supermarket PB a day

so you are NOT eating too much nuts

I don’t want to get all philosophical here, but the definition of an argument is this:

Argument: A set of reasons and evidence in support of the claim to know.

An argument has 3 components:

  1. Premises: A set of reasons and evidence
  2. Inference: in support of (the link between the premises and the claim to know)
  3. Conclusion: the claim to know.

Not only the premises (in recovery you cant eat enough of anything) aren’t true, the inference (I normally eat 10-15 tbsp supermarket PB a day) is illogical. Therefore, your conclusion (so you are NOT eating too much nuts) is not valid.

Nah, you’re just reactive-eating, buddy!

5. Blaming everything on reactive-eating.

i ate 3000in a day and still ended up re-active eating, it can set in at any point, the important thing is that we respond to it posatively and embrace it , and once we do so, after a while, with no restricting afterwards, it will subside 

It’s normal to be scared at the amount that you are eating in recovery because you are not used to it. But if you keep saying that ‘‘I’m reactive eating, I’m reactive eating’’, you are just focusing more on food and on your ED. Learn to just…eat. Period. If you keep saying that, when you’ll get to a healthy weight, chances are that you might be scared of eating because you might be ‘’reactive-eating’’ at a healthy weight. So stop putting a fucking label on everything you do: reactive-eating, binging, restricting…just eat, and try to not think of it too much. Only then you can lessen the food obsession.

Here’s an example Girl A is talking about binging problems, and is planning to restrict (basically, she needs people to baby-talk her and needs somebody to tell her to eat more because she’s skinny). Girl B is giving her that baby-talk. Girl C is backing up Girl B:

Girl B:

1. Your not binging, and yes restricting will lead to you “REACTIVE EATING” more

2. Yes, not eating what you NEED is restricting

3. Your dietitians are complete idiots, i cant see how they got their job tbh

Do you mind showing me your degree in medicine, smart ass?

Girl A! Listen to Girl B.

I went to see a dietitian too. And she had told me to eat 1600 calories a day and maintain. At first, my ED mind interpreted it as “you’re too fat to be eating 2500″ that’s why. But then I realised how stupid my dietitian was. I am underweight, I haven’t gotten my periods in forever, my bones are brittle, my hair falls out like crazy! 2500-3000++ calories is not only for WEIGHT GAIN. It’s to restore your body’s natural functions. You were doing so well! Dietitians spoil everything! If I were you, I’d listen to Beth. She’s more experienced and she’s come so far! Wouldn’t you rather believe someone who’s been through an ED than some dietitian who learned everything from a book?

Don’t let your ED win. Please.

My fucking god. First, that dietician never said that she was too fat to eat more. It’s her own fucked up disordered brain that twisted it around. Second, some doctors are very clueless about EDs, but a stranger on the internet is more, or as, clueless than them. Do you know the person’s blood test results? Do you know her blood pressure, her heart rate? Giving medical advice (especially when you are not even out of high school) is completely irresponsible, and a sad attempt at being ‘’Oh so helpful to others in recovery’’. Stop it with your holier-than-thou attitude, and mind your own health.

Sure, your starved body will get in a shock when you’ll start to feed him properly, but don’t be foolish. Use common sense. If you ”reactive-eat” every single day for a prolonged period of time…well, you might not want to hear this, but at some point, if you continue to blame everything on ”reactive-eating”, you might be disregarding the real issue. Could be restricting during the day and stuffing yourself at night, could be emotional eating, etc…or it could be simply binging. I know that for me, it all happened so fast, yet so slowly. I kept my eyes closed instead of using common sense.

6. If you are suffering from Anorexia Nervosa Restrictive type, you can ”reactive eat” as much as you want.

I hate that. They make it sound as if you can only binge if you have AN Binge/Purge type. This is contributing to the whole ”AN Restrictive type is so much more glamourous than Bulimia!” stereotype.

BED is waaaaaaay different, someone who has experienced a restricting EDs cannot develop this as a BED involves no ability to restrict whatsoever due to many under lying reasons (before you ask no, you dont have  BED, youve restricted in the past, your reactive eating, its different, yada yada)

*picks up a mega phone and scream down your ear to ED* [YOU ARE] REACTIVE EATING, STOP MESSING AROUND AND TRYING TO CONVINCE HERE OTHERWISE! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

please just trust me on this one :P

I can’t.

Just…no.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

This is a scheduled post because I’m on a mini trip, so if there is any comment, I’ll be replying to them later.

20 Responses to “CC Pet Peeves Part 2: Unhealthy is the New Healthy”

  1. Fiona March 7, 2012 at 6:45 am #

    This is seriously crazy, crazy stuff. I stay away from places like this because they do just turn into big enabling jerk circles.

    Would I be wrong by thinking there is an element of.. i don’t know what to call it. Jealousy? Jealousy of someone else being potentially skinnier so you go around encouraging everyone to eat eat eat binge binge binge (oops i mean reactive-eat) because if they do, then you will be the thinnest?

    wouldn’t be surprised!

    And I’m thinking when reading this, of one blogger’s recipe for peanut butter and banana.. eat the whole jar.. Um no. If you need more calz go drink a supplement.

    ignoring dietician advice makes me very ragey – there is a reason for what they prescribe. When i’ve been in refeeding they often start me off on as little as 500 calories per day, total intake – in hospital! if i was to say, they are full of sh*t and I know better, i need to eat 3500 calories – it would have killed me. refeeding syndrome is extremely deadly, but also just putting so much strain on the body so soon is too.

    PEOPLE – LISTEN TO YOUR TREATMENT TEAM. Hint – they aren’t the ones who are so f*cked up with their own eating they are on the same site you are.

    • asianbitch March 8, 2012 at 11:22 pm #

      Gosh, yes! I have a friend who said something that really struck me: ”Don’t ever look to an anorexic for advice on healthy eating.”

      • Fiona March 13, 2012 at 6:44 pm #

        there’s a whole ‘nother post about HLB’s… and about nurses. I lost count of the nurses who asked me for tipz and trickz when i was inpatient :P

  2. Jessy March 7, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

    IDK, I have stumbled upon your posts a few times before and I usually agreed, but here I hate to disagree. Granted, I have never had a full blown ED, so that’s maybe why my opinion differs, but I do not think we should condemn people recovering from restrictive eating for eating ”too much”. Honestly, I think they and other people should just stop over-analyzing it and eat enough … Why do you care if she eats 3000 kcal when maybe she could be fine on 2500 kcal? There must be a reason why they have these binging urges, don’t you think? Disapproving of them will only make them restrict again = the vicious cycle.

    • Fiona March 8, 2012 at 6:29 am #

      I get your argument. As I stated above – refeeding syndrome, among other things, is a real risk. the main problem Asian Bitch has here seems to be that they are encouraging each other to go against their dietician instructions and to eat what IS a binge.

      My own experience? It’s not a good thing. You CAN eat too much recovering from anorexia. That’s partly why I am now struggling with Bulimia too, and let me tell you, it’s hell and it’s just as deadly.

      There is a reason these people who have spent years and years of their lives studying for these positions reccommend what they do, especially when it’s tailored to an individual and their eating history, medical status, etc.

    • asianbitch March 8, 2012 at 11:39 pm #

      That’s where the my inner anti ”gushy gushy talk” genes step in.
      Girl A: ”I know your body has been starved, but be careful not to develop binging tendencies. Weight restoration is important, but so is the mental part.
      Girl B: OMG YOU’RE ARE SO TRIGGERING I’M GOING TO RESTRICT, YOU ARE SAYING I’M BINGING AND CALLING ME A FAT COW!!!”
      I say, take your own responsibilities: it’s your life. Only YOU can know if you are in a binging mode or not, only YOU can make yourself restrict. If you don’t feel like you are binging, perfect! If you think you are, then think twice about it.
      Here’s something my friend told me (the same one I talked about in the above comment):
      ”It’s not about saying don’t eat more if you’re hungry, its about saying don’t set yourself up with habits of overeating when not even remotely hungry.”

      And I agree with the ”stop the over-analyzing” thing. Like I said, ”stop putting a fucking label on everything you do: reactive-eating, binging, restricting…just eat, and try to not think of it too much. Only then you can lessen the food obsession.”

      • Fiona March 13, 2012 at 6:48 pm #

        this is so wise and true. we overthink way too much. It’s just food! it’s hard to break all those emotional/rational ties, but it’s the only way to do it.

  3. Rosalie March 8, 2012 at 11:34 pm #

    YES. I literally could not agree more. Especially the points on encouraging overeating. That’s where I spiralled into binge/purge: by telling myself that it was “okay” to eat so fucking much because I was “in recovery”. No, you’re setting yourself up for failure with that. Your body may want it and be able to handle it, but your mind can’t, and it’s dangerous.
    It’s not about saying don’t eat more if you’re hungry, its about saying don’t set yourself up with habits of overeating when not even remotely hungry.
    Meet your mealplan, meet 2500, whatever, but you don’t “need” to consume a jar of peanut butter. It’s not a point of pride–it’s not something to be ashamed of, but it’s not something that makes your recovery better than others’
    :)

    • asianbitch March 8, 2012 at 11:38 pm #

      Guys, here’s the wise friend I quoted in the above comments!

      Man I love that chick.

    • Fiona March 13, 2012 at 6:50 pm #

      so agree. me too. my bingeing after anorexia started with “but i’m gaining weight, i’ve been soooooo good, just one…” Big disaster. One became two became three became spew… you would know the rest.

  4. P March 9, 2012 at 6:34 pm #

    Hey there,
    Definitely appreciate the perspective here. As someone who’s gone through similar trials, (and I guess it never completely goes away) I can relate to both sides. Yes you want to be supported, and you want justification for the however many jars of peanut butter you snarfed. But I also agree that there’s a line. Support doesn’t mean babying someone, or telling white lies. In my book, anyway.

    • asianbitch March 9, 2012 at 8:19 pm #

      Yeah, I think one thing people don’t get is that binges can happen, and it’s not something to be so ashamed of that you need to call it ”reactive eating”. I mean, do you call restricting ”economical eating”? No, right? Then don’t do the same.

      • J March 9, 2012 at 8:50 pm #

        Economical eating! hahaha I cannot wait to use this phrase next time someone challenges my restriction ;) (j/k…sort of)

  5. L March 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

    Thoughts on Hedgren? Would you agree that she encourages the overeating even if im not hungry attitude of some CC’ers?

    • asianbitch March 13, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

      I don’t think the problem is whether or not she encourages overeating…there are some points that are valuable in what she says, I guess, but the problem is that some of those people on CC who want to be told that they aren’t binging ARE developing binging behaviors. The theory of ”reactive eating” is taken to the extreme and exaggerated: it’s used as an excuse to disregard the possibility of BED. And also, it is used as an excuse to ”have a permission to eat”.

      To recap: the problem isn’t if whether of not Hedgren encourages the overeating of some CC’ers, the problem is that some CC’ers are taking the reactive eating theory to the extreme.

  6. Briony March 18, 2012 at 11:05 am #

    This is an interesting issue. I admit I hated you for this post until I read the comment replies! (Yes, I eat the ‘magic 2500′ and I’m over-sensitive about it.) I completely agree with you that the calorie count forums don’t seem very healthy, though. I admit I’ve wondered about some of the meal plans people post. I’m gaining myself at the moment, and I certainly can’t imagine being able to eat what some people post without throwing up (not purging, just because my stomach capacity honestly isn’t that big!). Sometimes I wonder if some of them are making it up, because it reads a bit like what I would have dreamed of eating in a day when I was restricting. (That said, if anyone actually needs to eat 7000kcal or whatever and can actually manage it, then I admire them very much.)
    I also think that a lot of them forget that different people have different needs- some people need more and some people need less. If you’re pushing the top end of a healthy BMI and eating 3000+ kcal, then it probably is time to ask if you’re really listening to your body and eating a relatively balanced diet (if you are, then it shouldn’t be a problem).
    At the same time, though, some people genuinely do need to eat an incredible amount to gain, and I don’t think that 2500/3000kcal is an abnormal amount for a teenager/young adult. I think that my treatment team were a bit overcautious with increasing what I was eating, although obviously that’s just my opinion. I’ve been eating 2500kcal for a few months now and feel much better for it (and I’m still gaining below the guideline rate I was told by my treatment team).
    Sorry for leaving such an essay!

  7. Asian Bitch March 20, 2012 at 10:12 pm #

    Yeah, my readers are pretty awesome and leave good comments, right?

    Over-sensitivity is common among ED recoverers, but it’s something that you can work on.

    Some people on CC are definitely making up some stuffs. Most of them are teenagers and do so because they want to be part of the ”recoverer community” or the WG forum.

    And you’re right, some people might need X, while the others will need Y…it doesn’t matter if it’s 2500cals or 4000 cals, my point is…I don’t care. Just eat. I don’t give a damn about your intake, it doesn’t affect me. There’s something wrong by saying ”I eat X, so you should eat the same as me!” (which is often seen in the CC forums)

  8. Moving on and letting go. December 5, 2012 at 6:06 pm #

    HAHAHA! You actually made me laugh a lot.
    The thing is that you and the people you are talking about are thinking in two oh so different ways, and both having a hard time understanding each other.
    I really agree with you on the number 5 thing. Both that people really should stop labeling everything they do, but also themselves, and that they should just eat and not think so much about it. But again, it is a mental disease so it’a not always that easy. As being ‘recovered’, or at least not thinking like that anymore, I really see your point though :)

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