How HLB-Brainwashed Are You? + Butterscotch Chocolate Chip Protein Ice Cream

18 Nov

You will need a paper and a pencil.

1. What’s your opinion on shirataki noodles?

A) They are awesome! I don’t eat them because of their low-calorie content though, I eat them because I genuinely love them! I swear it’s not because I’m scared of carbs!! Really!!!

B) They’re ok, pretty decent for a low-calorie alternative, but if it wasn’t for the calories or carbs, I would pick the regular pasta

C) They’re disgusting, they smell like fish guts!

2. How many tubes of protein powder do you currently have in your house?

A) 4+

B) 1-3

C) None

3. How many of the following items or recipes have you tried: coconut flour, peanut flour, chia seeds, hemp protein powder, kombucha, Green smoothies, OIAJ, kale chips, protein ice cream, protein cake/muffins?

A) 5+

B) 2-4

C) 0-2 (but before it has become popular in the blogsphere)

4. How many of the following words or expressions have you used:

  • ”Get in my belly!”
  • ”You bet I ate that bad boy”
  • ”Foodgasm”
  • ”Nom nom nom”
  • ”Amazeballs!”
  • ”Awesomeness”, ”Deliciousness”…
  • ”This recipe is lifechanging!”
  • ”Chocolate? Yes please!’‘ (or any other food)

A) 3+

B) 1-2

C) None

5. Why do you work out?

A) I absolutely love the way it makes me feel! It’s not about the calories or anything though, I swear I’m honest! I juste loooooove working out and torturing myself every single day!

B) I like the endorphin rush, but if it wasn’t for the fact that it also keeps me in shape, I think I would rather be doing myself a manicure and read magazines.

C) Working out…? Does taking the stairs count?

6. What do you think of that ”What I Ate Wednesday”?

A) SO FREAKING AMAZEBALL!! It’s sooo cool to see what this popular blogger ate! I mean, look at this picture of Honeycrisp Apple! She ate an apple!!!! An apple!!!!! And if you zoom on this bowl of oatmeal, you can see that underneath the chia seeds, blueberries, greek yogurt, cottage cheese, egg whites, biscoff spread and nut butter, there’s 3 chocolate chips!!! SO AMAZEBAAAALLLLL!!!!!

B) Meh, they’re no different than Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. They post their food diary every single day anyway.

C) I. Can’t. If I see another ”What I Ate Wednesday”, ”What I Wished I Ate Wednesday”, ”What I Realized Wednesday”, ”What I Used to Ate Wednesday”, ”What I Will Eat On Wednesday”, ”What I Worked Wednesday”, ”What I Pooped Wednesday”, I’m gonna puke.

7. When you see a recipe for (Fake) Protein Ice Cream, what do you think?

A) OMG, this blogger is a fucking genius!!! PROTEIN!!!! WOUHOOOO!!! I’m gonna kiss her/his shoes, I can’t believe it, a healthy alternative for ice cream loaded with protein!!!! OH MY GAWD!!!

B) Cool, I’ll bookmark it. Sounds not too bad for a healthy alternative. I might try it after my Dairy Queen trip.

C) No thanks. I don’t want to become a Fart Machine. Protein farts are gross.


Majority of A): Get the fuck out of here, and go into a Healthy Living Blogs Readers Anonymous group (HLBRA).

Majority of B): It’s just a matter of time for those HLBs to get you. At least you seem to have some sense of self-awareness.

Majority of C): You’re going to hate my blog.


For ice cream snobs, you can skip this recipe. It is NOT a substitute for Haagen-Dazs (or whatever it is spelled). I tried to come up with something else than ”ice cream”, but decided I have better things to do than to worry about ruining the reputation of ice cream.

I don’t know who came up with the concept first. I think bodybuilders have been eating this before the protein hype among HLBs came. Anyway.

Butterscotch Chocolate Chip Protein Ice Cream

I really need to learn how to use a camera. Or just post the recipe without picture. I think that will be better.

EDIT: Changed the picture. Still need to learn how to use a camera, though.

Makes 3-4 cups

  • 12-15 ice cubes
  • 30-35g Vanilla Whey Protein powder
  • 1 tbsp (1/4 of package) Jell-O Butterscotch Instant pudding
  • 2-3 packets of sweetener
  • ½ tsp xantham gum and ½ tsp guar gum* (if use cow milk as a liquid, you might want to cut back on the amount of thickeners)
  • 5oz water or non-dairy milk or COW milk (in this case, lower the amount of gums)
  • ~1/4 tsp butterscotch extract (optional)
  • Chocolate chips (can melt some to make a chocolate ribbon)


    1. Crush the ice cubes in the blender.
    2. Mix the protein powder, pudding powder, sweetener and gums together, and add them to the blender.
    3. Add liquid and extract, if using.
    4. Blend until there are no more ice chunks. Don’t over-blend because it heat the blender and melt the ‘ice cream’
    5. Add the chocolate chips
    6. Pour into whatever glass or bowl you have, and freeze for at least an hour (I usually wait for 2h, and let it thaw).

6 Responses to “How HLB-Brainwashed Are You? + Butterscotch Chocolate Chip Protein Ice Cream”

  1. Anne November 18, 2011 at 9:38 am #

    I answered 3 questions with B and 4 with C, but I like your blog and I loved this “quiz”

    • asianbitch November 18, 2011 at 9:05 pm #

      Good, you’ll keep me accountable if I ever slip into the HLB/Disordered-eater-in-denial Dark Side.

  2. Lindsey @ Happy or Hungry November 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm #

    haha, this post was awesome.
    1. I don’t know if I have an opinion, I don’t even know if I’ve tried them!
    2. 0!!!
    3. B (I really like chia seeds and green smoothies!)
    4. B (Om nom nom used to make me laugh so much until it was ruined. Get in my belly has ALWAYS driven me crazy. Belly is just such an unattractive word. I use deliciousness all the time, but I like to add “ness” to a lot of my words)
    5. B
    6. I have done a few WIAW’s, and I think they are fine if you do something different or make it funny and not just list every morsel that went into your body.
    7. I guess B – mild intrigue. But dang. Your ice cream looks like pure deliciousness 🙂

    • asianbitch November 19, 2011 at 7:28 pm #

      Really? I think that picture is down right ugly. Every time I log on, I want to delete it. It doesn’t do justice to the recipe. It’s definitely not a substitute for real ice cream, more like a fun way to drink your protein shake, since it’s not nearly as rich as the real thing, and much more time consuming than just eating it from a pint, but I like that you can make different flavours (I just made a Strawberry Cheesecake one). I get bored if I get a whole tub of ice cream. It’s like mascara. You never finish it, but you want to buy different kinds.

  3. Qi Ting January 27, 2012 at 9:28 am #

    CCBB (minus the manicure.)BC
    So… 3Cs and 3Bs.
    I do the WIAW thing, but only once a week. Once a week is more than enough I think. Thought it would be fun to try recording what I ate once a week. Its excruciating but I do it. Hope you don’t hate me.
    I hate protein powder. What the hell is wrong with regular milk powder or even regular milk for that matter? And just eat more protein? Its really not that difficult. I have to say peanut flour is amazing (but only if mixed with maple syrup) though. I use them to make macarons.

    • asianbitch January 27, 2012 at 1:36 pm #

      I don’t really mind if people who are legit Food bloggers (not ”I am blogging about food because I want to fit in”) do WIAW posts once a week. I don’t see the point of doing a WIAW if you do the same every other day of the week.

      And no, I don’t hate you. In fact, you were in my Google Reader (Asian here too! I like chinese desserts and meals) and I was surprised to see you here. How did you end up on my blog?

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