Join the ”What I [fill the bank] Wednesday” Party + Dijon Yogurt Veggie Dip

23 Nov

Introducing my first attempt at being a HLB-Wannabe!

The first thing that came out (with a lot of effort) of my butt hole was…

…my raw veggies with my Dijon Yogurt Veggie Dip!

Ingredients

  • ~1/3 cup Plain Greek Yogurt
  • ~2 tbsp Dijon Mustard (with Chardonnay)
  • ~1 to 1.5 tsp sweetener
  • Salt and Pepper, to taste
Directions
  1. Mix everything together and chill to let the flavors combine.
  2. Serve with your favorite veggies! I like celery and carrots the best.

——–

So good, so AMAZABALLS!!!

Today was my rest day, so I took it easy on the workout!! Here’s what I did:

1. 4 set of 15 reps of kegel exercises

  • Keep your muscles contracted for 30sec between each rep!
  • Between each set, take a 0.3 sec break
2. 78 laps of swimming with 15oz. cans of pumpkin attached to each of your arms and legs
  • The weights are the key for a super effective workout! Cardio is shit! You MUST use weights because that’s the trend in the HLBlogsphere! LIFT HEAVYYYYYY!!!! FAWK THE ELLIPTICAL (unless it’s HIIT)!!!!
Then I went to the sauna and stayed there for 5hours!

I sweated a tonnnnnn of calories!! That might be the reason why I was so hungry, I mean, I ate soooooo many carrots with that veggie dip! That’s like a ton of carbs, and I’m soooo bloated and gassy!
I think I might have an intolerance to carbs.
Yeah, that’s it:
I’m allergic to carbs! 

Luckily, I found those wonderful carb-free, lactose-free, fat-free, gluten-free, calorie-free donuts

And funny thing, they made me wallet-free too! Why does healthy food have to be sooooo expensive??!!

——-

This was all sarcastic, by the way…My diet doesn’t consist on celery and donuts, and I don’t do kegel exercises. Just thought I would mention it, in case your poor brain is too malnourished because of your restrictive intake to get it.

Don’t try the pumpkin can thing, you’re gonna drown (or die from humiliation).

Also, stop complaining about money/being poor if you buy protein powders, coconut flours, sugar-free dark chocolate, organic sprouted whole grain bread, etc., because those ARE more expensive, and YOU are making the choice to spend your dough on that. Suck it up, and live with it.

And those calorie-free donuts don’t exist. In the meantime, do as I do and go get your donuts at Tim Horton’s.

Honey Cruller Donuts and Timbits are my faves. Hate the Old-fashioned one. Yuck.

Image from Google

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8 Responses to “Join the ”What I [fill the bank] Wednesday” Party + Dijon Yogurt Veggie Dip”

  1. Blonde on a Mission November 23, 2011 at 9:53 am #

    Chocolate dipped donuts from Tim’s all the way.
    And kegels? Who wouldn’t want a fit and strong vagina?

    • asianbitch November 25, 2011 at 12:12 am #

      When the teachers gave Timbits in middle school, the Chocolate were always the first ones to go. That’s why I would pick chocolate, even though I think I liked the white powdery one better. The kids who got Chocolate were the ”cool” ones.

      Kids are so rational.

  2. Lindsey @ Happy or Hungry November 23, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

    haha. That is a very attractive toilet picture.
    Honey DIP timbits for me ALL THE WAY! I cannot get enough of them! And I assume they are just zero calories because they are so little 😉
    I was going to do a WIAW today and draw all my food as cartoons…but then I couldn’t because I was busy. ho hum. One day!

    • asianbitch November 25, 2011 at 9:27 am #

      You know you’re an adult when your favorite Timbits are non-chocolate!

  3. Lou November 28, 2011 at 12:27 am #

    I am regretting not doing more kegel exercises.

    Baby’s heads are big. Now a laughing fit can have dire consequences.

    Timbits look awesome, dang reading US blogs and all their delicious treats.

    • asianbitch November 28, 2011 at 10:06 pm #

      Hahaha, maybe I should do a workout video for all future moms:

      Keep breathing, c’mon you can do it!!
      Push it!
      PUSH IT!!!
      HARDER!!!!
      20 more seconds!!!!

  4. Mitri November 29, 2011 at 9:31 pm #

    FLOL (This is my new version, called Fucking LOL). I hope you realize that I am probably going to retro-comment on all of your posts. The “what i ate wednesday” posts do crack me up. I gave up on buying $5+ Ezekiel bread when I realized I could buy 88cent store brand whole wheat bread with a little HFCS. Maybe if I did some more kegels I could justify buying Ezekiel.

    And let’s be real. Sunmaid Cinnamon Raisin Bread IS better than Ezekiel’s. Because, you know, it actually tastes like cinnamon raisin… and is soft… and toasts really well… and isn’t hard as hell.

    If I asked my boyfriend what he ate on Wednesday, he’d say, “What the hell…? I don’t remember.” I’m happy to say that I don’t remember either.

    • asianbitch November 30, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

      I remember my mom never let me buy the Sunmaid Bread because she hates the cinnamon smell, and my sister hates raisins and cinnamon.

      Did you ever realized that it was kind of weird looking at the picture of an apple that a blogger ate…? I had a moment where I was like ”WTF I’m I doing???!”

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