How to make your readers believe you are naturally skinny

8 Jan

Dear ED Recovery Blog Reader and HLB Reader, you might have been tricked into thinking that some bloggers can eat whatever they want and remain thin.

How is that?!

Well, I shall reveal those not-so-secret secrets!

And, while I’m at it, throw in some names. What can I say…it’s past 2:00am, and I’m in a Bitchy Mood.

ETA: Well, some people say it’s rude to name them and to link back. I’m in a Sunshine Mood today, so I’m fixing that.

1) Use tiny bowls and take super close up photos so your meals look huge.

A common one. Tiny utensils also help.

It looks full. But I can count the number of Rotini pasta on that plate.

2) Take pictures of heaping teaspoons tablespoons of nut butter

But be careful; don’t forget to use tiny spoons!!!

Oh, and never show these heaping tablespoons anywhere near the food you eat, because “you always eat from the jar because you’re sooooooo baddddddd”.

3) Take photos, but don’t eat it.

Take a picture of that stack of pancakes, then neglect to mention that you only ate one.

Oh, and that pat of Earth Balance that you put on it for the photoshoot? Be sure to remove it.

4) Use only aerial shots, so no one sees that the food rises 1cm above the plate.

Spread to the max, and be sure to have minimal 3D effect.

5) Say endlessly that you went back for seconds and thirds, and that you ate many unpictured items.

I also had 3x this bowl of pasta!

I had a big piece of Opera cake, but no picture, sorry!!! But it was so good!

I had a ton of unpictured granola!

Say this over and over again. Make your readers believe that you are constantly eating. It’s like a brainwashing process: implant that idea in their heads, MUAHAHAHA!!!

6) Neglect to tell your readers that you are using Miracle rice, Shirataki noodles or Low carb noodles.

But be warned! The Miracle Rice can only fool stupid (or blind) readers! If your readers have decent eyes, they will notice that the”rice” isn’t shaped like rice.

006

A lovely, naturally skinny, health obsessed, exercise fanatic girl that shall not be named tried to pass this as ''cheesy rice'' to her naive readers.

Oh, and if you notice Fettucini-type noodles that are irregularly shaped (very short noodles in the mix), it is probably Carba Nada noodles.

This lovely blogger that shall not be named just said it was ''pasta with roasted cauliflower, shrimp, goat cheese and marinara sauce.'' I think typing ''low carb pasta'' would have taken too much time.

6) Neglect to tell your readers that you are getting the diet/skinny/mini version.

''Cheese and jam on a bagel!''. I think it's a mini bagel. Notice the cheese oozing out of it.

Or when you get a drink at Starbucks…don’t say you got the skinny version.

So yeah, I hope this post helped you on how to trick your readers! After all, who cares if they might be copying your eating habits, thinking it will help them with their weight…as long as you stay thin!!!

*Special thanks to Rosie, who helped me with this post, and GOMI’s Detectives.

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27 Responses to “How to make your readers believe you are naturally skinny”

  1. Gemma January 8, 2012 at 10:13 am #

    Hrmm whilst I agree with some of your comments on this post, but don’t you think it’s a bit rude and uncalled for, to post up the names and link to their blogs? If you have a problem with them, why not just talk it out with them?

    • asianbitch January 8, 2012 at 11:08 am #

      Do you think I should remove the links and the name? I was thinking about copyright stuffs. Some bloggers contacted their lawyers because other people used their pictures without linking or mentioning them.
      If you look in the comment section, some people have called them out on it. No reply.

  2. UrRude January 8, 2012 at 10:27 am #

    I completely agree with the above comment.

    • asianbitch January 8, 2012 at 11:11 am #

      Ok I will edit the post.
      p.s: Next time try another user name. You ended up in my spam box! It scares me to fish out comments from my spam box…last time I did my computer got a virus. So yeah…maybe try Cutie Pie, UrAwesome, UrFuck*ngSexy or something like that next time?

  3. puddleduckdiary January 8, 2012 at 3:50 pm #

    Hmm yes I see a lot of people doing the ‘tiny plate close up’ thing… Unless they’ve started growing green peas the size of chesnuts, it surprises me that people don’t think it’s obvious…

    • asianbitch January 8, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

      Their Bullshit Radar are severely damaged.

  4. Heather January 8, 2012 at 5:20 pm #

    I would respect some HLBers much more if they didn’t use those tricks. Just type out the serving of cooked pasta you ate, whether it was 1/4c or 2c or 10c I DON’T EVEN CARE. at least you’re being fucking honest. It gets to me when they start deceiving their readers. but I tend to think that people are liars by default. I’m kind of like Dr House. 😛

    also those mini coloured spoons they ALL use? admittedly I do like how they come in a variety of colours. but they’re probably from some rich person store like williams-sonoma. but I see them all over the place in the blog world. might as well just eat with baby spoons (maybe they really are baby spoons!).

    • asianbitch January 8, 2012 at 7:54 pm #

      I’m so fucking jealous of those long mini spoons. I want them! They are, dare I say…cute?? And so practical!! Yesterday I was trying to scrap the last bit of mustard but the opening was too small for my big fatty spoon…those mini spoons would have been handy.

  5. Mitri January 8, 2012 at 6:44 pm #

    When I first started reading HLB/ED-infused blogs, I remember thinking, “Wow, she can eat that much and be so tiny? I have to be like that.” And if they included their measurements, I’d follow it and be like… “Hm, this is smaller than I thought, and I am not full.” But hey, I wanted to be that tiny, so I made myself get used it. 🙂

    What a good example to set!

    • asianbitch January 8, 2012 at 7:20 pm #

      Most of the time, I double their pancake recipes (coming from people who workout like 6-7 days a week…I kid you not), or add a shit ton of sides.

  6. Blonde on a Mission January 8, 2012 at 7:36 pm #

    Ugh. I feel stupid that I was duped into thinking the HLBs really ate like they say. When I tried to emulate them, I gained weight. They’re not living healthily if they’re just lying constantly. CCK put shaving cream on one of her desserts (I believe it was a holiday drink) and said she drank it! Like, bloggers, just cut the shit and admit that you can’t eat 3 slices of cake and not want to kill yourself afterward. Because saying it was “omgsooo good I couldn’t just have one!1!!!1” is deceiving and readers will think it’s okay if they eat like that. Merrrr. Thank you for calling out specific bloggers on their BS.

    • asianbitch January 8, 2012 at 7:40 pm #

      Haha, CCK once put Pillsbury’s frosting on her sugar cookies, and people were like ”Why didn’t you ate it with the frosting if it’s on the picture??” and she said it was for picture purposes only.
      Of course. Frosting has too many calories, we should have known. So sorry, so fat.

  7. dancinghopinglivingdreaming January 11, 2012 at 2:09 am #

    don’t forget that when they post pictures they are only ones taken at a certain angle, holding their head a certain way, their arms a certain way, angling their head down so that their face appears longer and thinner and eyes bigger and posing with their legs a certain way so that they appear longer and thinner etcetcetcetcetcetc :p
    .. ok im guilty of that too haha.

  8. koscheithetasigma January 12, 2012 at 7:35 am #

    It’s amazing how easily the scale can be distorted within a photo. Of course, you can’t believe everything you read or hear. That will simply lead you to becoming a sheep.

    Have you seen ‘Beautiful Struggle’, that other blog by missymiller? I really wonder how she’s even alive, she’s so emaciated. Yet she makes out like she eats a shitton. Yeah, and that’s Why You’re Almost Dead. :/

    • koscheithetasigma January 12, 2012 at 7:36 am #

      and I didn’t make much sense in that comment. I blame how late it is now.

    • Rosalie January 12, 2012 at 2:39 pm #

      That blog makes me so sad 😦 Especially how many photos she takes of herself.

      • asianbitch January 12, 2012 at 11:12 pm #

        Sad? Ha! It makes me more frustrated than anything.
        She claims she has a BMI over 18.5 or so. Sorry, but an anorexic can’t fool another anorexic or a former anorexic. I don’t give a shit about your BMI, whether it is 16, 18, 23 or 34, but I will give you shit about it if you lie, ESPECIALLY when a good chunk of your readers are eating disordered. It’s fucking sick and unhelpful.

        Shortly after I posted this, she was following my blog.
        *Waves at health obsessed, exercise fanatic girl*

        ETA: Sorry I didn’t notice this was a reply to another comment. I was talking about someone else.

  9. Ameena January 12, 2012 at 5:48 pm #

    Wow…I never thought about these things. I suppose that people can really do anything with a picture.

    This is just another reason why I have no interest in reading what people eat every day!

  10. Tara January 17, 2012 at 7:47 pm #

    Hiiii I just clicked over here. You would probably hate on my blog, ahaha, but I totally get your point with some of these. I have to say though, if I took a picture of every single serving of something I ate, every single little handful of granola I took from the pantry, every single little hershey kiss I ate as I sat there mindlessly eating them in class – well I don’t think I’d want to post about it because honestly who wants to see a picture of that? So in that case I just mention it, because if I leave it out people go freaking crazy like “OH MY GOSH YOU DIDNT EAT ENOUGH YOUR DYING”. Most of my eating is spontaneous, and I don’t walk around with a camera. Hence the reason I only do WIAW sometimes and never even show everything.

    But really? Do people seriously take pictures of food and then not eat it? That just seems bizarre and obsessive… I can hardly remember to take a picture of my real meals, I can’t imagine having to stage them.

    • Tara January 17, 2012 at 7:48 pm #

      wow I didn’t realize that was a novel, haha.

      • asianbitch January 19, 2012 at 5:12 pm #

        Novel? Well then I guess I prefer ”novels” over comments like ”OMG I need to try that oatmeal recipe! So yum!”.
        Please continue to write novels.

        But yeah, if you are displaying your eats over the net and you have an history of ED, it’s no surprise people will jump at your throat at the first sign of restriction.

      • Alexandra January 21, 2012 at 12:13 am #

        I actually want to comment on asianbitch’s comment below:

        i just want to say that it sounds so funny and i like that. “Novel? well then i guess I prefer “novels.”

        as much as i think you’re rude, you’re actually funny and i can’t stop reading your posts atm, so perchance that’s a good thing? you’re kind of snotty but I have to admit, it’s pretty much all true. kudos.

      • asianbitch January 21, 2012 at 9:22 am #

        Thanks.
        Since we’re kissing each others asses, I want to say I tried your couscous salad and really enjoyed.

  11. Faerie April 8, 2014 at 11:24 am #

    you’re such a negative person…

    • asianbitch April 8, 2014 at 10:44 pm #

      Sometimes, the truth is negative.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Bloggers & Privacy « Asian B*tch - January 15, 2012

    […] ate Miracle Rice with nutritional yeast on top, and call it ”cheesy rice” […]

  2. Bitch, Quit Lying! « Asian B*tch - February 18, 2012

    […] huge so you think they eat a buttload (see how they make you believe they are just naturally skinny here), or they post tiny meals so that you think they eat healthy and all (when some of them just […]

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