Things you say but don’t believe

22 Jan

1) I don’t care about numbers

If you had an ED, unless you have alzheimer or have received electro-shock treatment or have been hypnotized, you will always care about numbers. Heck, even normal women who never had an ED care about numbers! Stop acting like you are the Recovery Queen or whatever Inspiration Role Model.

There’s no shame is saying that you care that this sundae is 800 calories for a tiny piece, or that you don’t want to be 300lbs.

2) I don’t care about ”haters”

We are humans. We live in a society where everything is based on how others perceive us. If a lot of people are saying that you are a annoying bitch and you’re the only one who thinks you are a Saint, you shouldn’t not care about it.

Oh, and when I say ”haters”, I don’t mean ”trolls”*, but people who have constructive negative comments. I put  ”haters” in comas because these people are often wrongly portrayed as haters-who-hate-themselves. Not all negative comments are stupid. In fact, a comment that’s not ”Holy yum! I need to try that oatmeal recipe! I love PB and chocolate together, such a foodie!” is often more interesting.

*If it’s a troll’s comment, like this, chances are that Puddleduck and I are going to come out with a sarcastic reply (except when the comment is too boring. If that’s so, there’s no point in wasting your time) and move on to more important stuffs, like how to avoid having all the raisins at the bottom of the Raisin Bran Cereal box .

3) McDonald’s French fries are so gross! I much prefer Kale chips!

Le EVIL. Le DEATH.

Le YUMMY. Le BEST.

…and right after, you say that you don’t care about numbers.

Right.

4) Nom Nom Nom! This Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal tastes just like a real pumpkin pie!

NO.

STOP IT.

It tastes like oatmeal with pumpkin, stevia and cinnamon.

5) I workout just because I love it, and nothing else!

I get all the endorphin love afterwards. But when I workout, it’s also to keep myself in shape.

I can bet serious money that if it didn’t make you burn 400 calories, you wouldn’t do it.

6) OMG, that salad beast: FOODGASM! Better than sex, tee hee!

On a 16 year old’s blog: How edgy. Want to make me believe you are not a virgin anymore? Better chance next time.

On an adult’s blog: Change your partner. He/She is probably not doing it right.

That chick probably had a ''salad beast'' before sex.

Advertisements

10 Responses to “Things you say but don’t believe”

  1. Marie January 22, 2012 at 11:07 am #

    lololololol. Someone called me a twat once on my blog, I think it was my proudest moment since that 75 second keg stand I did freshman year in college.

    I love when people claim they can tell the difference between free-range and caged animal products. Personally, I think sad chickens taste better.

    I’m still waiting for some study to find that zumba causes cancer.

  2. squigglefloey January 22, 2012 at 8:43 pm #

    Haha. I just found your blog. LOVE 🙂

  3. Nada (One Arab Vegan) January 28, 2012 at 7:34 pm #

    Just stumbled across your blog from Ameena’s and you seriously have me laughing out loud! The pumpkin oatmeal thing – classic.

  4. Ameena January 30, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

    I am cracking up at this! Kale chips just defy everything that’s good in the world. WTH are they? They are like eating cardboard – so glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.

  5. Emily February 2, 2012 at 11:38 pm #

    Glad to see a blog out there saying some things that have been crossing my mind as I followed alot of these healthy living blogs, and found myself obsessing over too many things, love the chia seed, pumpkin comments;) Your sense of humor makes your blog work and your sarcasm!

  6. koscheithetasigma February 3, 2012 at 4:10 am #

    A very good post, indeed. I don’t know how others are able to convince themselves Low Fat Skinny Oblong pooh-pah yoghurt is really *yoghurt* anymore. Whilst I ponder on this, I dig into full-fat yoghurt from a local dairy (not half an hour away from where I live).

    And yes, my weight doesn’t matter to me – it doesn’t bother me – but the number means something to me. Numbers matter.
    This is where I feel a lot of recoverers lose gravity of what ‘recovery’ means, and even I have to evaluate the things I do. Do I really prefer the rice wraps to the whole-wheat ones, regardless of the 20-calorie difference? In this case, yes, the lower-calorie alternative tastes better and folds better, but I know it’s personal preference.

    On the other hand, fuck kale chips. I would rather sweet potato fries (which actually taste good when you make them yourself, not the cheap crap in the frozen section made with reconsituted carrot AND sweet potato) or just normal white potatah chippies. My mama makes the best oven chips, with real buttah.

    I have also since found that, after engaging in the recovery community, my porridge concoctions felt rather minimal compared to the Pumpkin Pie and Sugar Sweet Gingerbread Strawberry Shortcake oatmeal. Me? I’d just cook some porridge in the microwave with sultanas and have some blackcurrant tea on the side.

    Last but not least, I do like walking. I smile at business workers who always look like a bird just pooed on them. Their look of confusion and frustration is rather funny.

    P.S. Please stop having a life and post an update. I REALLY MISS YOU AND STUFF etc. etc.

    • asianbitch February 3, 2012 at 11:16 pm #

      Sultanas with oatmeal?? NO, IT’S CALLED RAISIN OATMEAL COOKIE OATMEAL, duh!

      P.S: Haha, it’s the usual: too much school stuffs, no inspiration for a topic…I tend to do more reading than blogging in those times.

  7. dhld February 25, 2012 at 11:44 pm #

    good lord. whoever says a saladbeast is better than sex is just not getting any.

    i pity them.

C'mon, tell me what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: