About the Bitch

  • I’m like a banana: Yellow on the outside, White on the inside.
  • I’m 4’11’’.
  • I will not delete replies that are against my opinion, don’t be scared to say what you think. It’s the Internet…everything is allowed, you’re behind a computer screen, so don’t be scared. It’s not like I can hit you.
  • But if I do find you, I’m gonna hit you. I’ve done kickboxing and taekwondo, and I’m White belt 1 stripe, so watch out.
  • English is not my first language. Excuse my spelling and grammar. I try my best to proofread.

I know it’s a cliché among bloggers: I’ve struggled with…

  • anorexia nervosa
  • bulimia (HOLY mother fucking shit!! Somebody who actually admit of this!! It seems like no one in the blogging world  had bulimia, just anorexia because it’s ”oh so much more glamourous”.)
  • self-harm (I’m reluctant to self-diagnose myself with this, but whatever…I don’t need a shrink to tell me whether or not I had a problem when I’ve used to harm myself.)

Did I heard a sigh? I know some people hate it when the blogger has an ED past because their blog is just fucking triggering, all their posts scream for reassurance, all they eat is just egg white with beans, oatmeal with cottage cheese, oatmeal with egg white, oatmeal with egg white (sometimes, when there’s not so many toppings, you can see that there’s also peanut butter in it) and workout 2hours a day.

But I think you’ll find this blog different from the others. At least, I hope.

22 Responses to “About the Bitch”

  1. Gemma November 9, 2011 at 12:07 pm #

    Are you X, aka babyvanilla?

    • asianbitch November 9, 2011 at 12:19 pm #

      Yes 🙂
      You made a typo in my name, bu yes I used to have a blog called ”Vanilla Swirl”!

    • Anne November 13, 2011 at 8:41 am #

      Are you on GOMI 🙂 ?

      I recognized your GOMI username when you left a comment on one of Eden’s recent posts!
      Adding your blog to my Google Reader!

      -dogsandmovies

      • asianbitch November 13, 2011 at 12:41 pm #

        Yes!

        GOMI and blogs like Eden’s are so much better than orthorexic-proana/triggering-recovery blogs, right?

  2. Reader November 21, 2011 at 10:47 pm #

    Hi, I like your sense of humor. I’m actually trying to recover now and unfortunately am at a loss as to what to eat. Its so confusing. YEs, so many HLBs bug me too, very much.

    Are you still trying to gain ? I feel like crap + I’m not exercising + I think my food choices are making things worse. If you can offer any thoughts, please email me!

    • asianbitch November 21, 2011 at 11:43 pm #

      No, not actively trying to gain anymore. Although it wouldn’t surprise me if I did, but that’s another story.
      I don’t really know what kind of advice to give…there’s nothing you can do except getting a good level of self-awareness (you know that the cookie you just ate won’t make you gain 60lbs, and you know that your mom didn’t meant to say you were fat when she said you looked healthier), work on self-acceptance, keep pushing through the discomfort, and recognize your triggers (aka if you know some blogs that are triggering, especially half-assed recovery blogs, then don’t read them. I know that sometimes you can’t help it, so that’s why self-awareness is important in recognizing behaviors that aren’t healthy). Ok yeah, on second thought, there’s a lot you can do.
      Do you see a therapist and have people who you can talk to? This is really important and it will help tremendously. Sometimes you need someone to shake you.

  3. kabochafashionista December 6, 2011 at 8:26 am #

    Your comment on my blog was completely out of order considering your history.

  4. kabochafashionista December 6, 2011 at 10:32 am #

    Ohhh sorry lovie, I thought your comment was aimed directly at me! Yeah her comment was absolutely ridiculous! It was so thoughtless and just a way to promote her blog through mine. Know way would I participate in something so stupid that in no way help my problems!

  5. Heather December 9, 2011 at 1:51 am #

    your blog is certainly one of my favourites. I saw you’re on GOMI too, which makes me like you even more.

  6. Emma December 12, 2011 at 5:45 pm #

    Hey I just wanted to thank you for your blog. I’m currently in ED recovery myself and I’ve been really blind sided by a lot of recovery/ HLB blogs… definitely not helpful when I’m trying to get over this stupid illness. But your posts have made me laugh my ass off and it made me realize how, umm, brain washed I’ve been. So thank you!

  7. The British Asian Blog December 16, 2011 at 12:50 pm #

    I am touched by you ‘About’ page. Salute You mate. I’m quite the opposite to you, in the sense that I eat just for the fun of it and the best thing is – I don’t put any weight on. Still slim as anything.

  8. mindrunningwild January 5, 2012 at 11:00 pm #

    Just found your blog. I’ve been thinking about what recovery means to me and how blogging isn’t helping. I’ll be back!

  9. J February 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm #

    Hilarious blog. But I saw somewhere you said you don’t believe in full recovery? Aren’t you fully recovered?

    • asianbitch February 7, 2012 at 7:56 pm #

      No, I’m not. Unfortunately, physical recovery doesn’t come necessarily with mental recovery. People tend to think otherwise because of the way I approach recovery.

      • J February 8, 2012 at 1:54 am #

        Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, I did kind of assume it from the way you write (I would never assume anything from whether someone looks physically healthy or not. Not that I’ve even seen pictures of you). Are you not aiming for full mental recovery too, though?

      • J February 8, 2012 at 1:57 am #

        (Hope that doesn’t sound directive or anything. I’m just always interested in people’s approach to recovery).

      • asianbitch February 8, 2012 at 8:04 am #

        Haha, never worry about being too direct here.
        Of course, I would like to be fully recovered and all, but I would also like to be billionaire, drive like a decent person and have Matthew Lewis as a boyfriend. I guess it’s possible, but not probable, so I’ll just strive for the best I can do.
        Contrary to what people (most of them very deep in their ED) think, I’m not making fun of people who are struggling, but more trying to make them aware of how the world perceives ED, how ridiculous ED behaviors are, and to make them do some self-reflection. At the same time, it keeps me sane because it helps me to get self-aware about my own behaviors.

      • J February 8, 2012 at 5:07 pm #

        Yeah haha point taken, obviously I wasn’t meaning full recovery is something you just choose and suddenly get. I guess I was drawing a distinction between people who might get to an okay weight but don’t intend to give up behaviours (even if that is just rigidity about food, or super ‘clean’ eating, or whatever) vs. people who at least have the goal of being (more or less) ‘normal’ about eating (whether or not they ever achieve it). I pretty much assumed from your blog that you’d be the latter, but then I wasn’t sure. Btw I’m not judging either group (for most of my ‘recovery’ I’ve been the former, but I’m starting to edge toward the latter)…just, as I said, interested in approaches to recovery.

        And yeah, I for one can see that your blog is more than just laughing at people…I mean yeah it’s funny and part of that is mocking, but I’ve always believed in the value of humour for pointing out irrational thinking or crazy behaviour…honestly an important part of my recovery has been time spent with my boyfriend (who’s been fully recovered from anorexia for about 6 years) making fun of anorexia and realizing with kind of external eyes just how ridiculous it is. Which isn’t the same thing as saying that other people are ridiculous. So I’m glad you have the blog to keep you sane, and I’m pretty sure you’re doing a good job of eye-opening, even if people deep in their ED can’t quite see it at the time.

        (For some reason I can’t reply to your other comment so am replying to this one instead. Anyway I didn’t mean to write an essay, time to shut up now haha)

      • asianbitch February 8, 2012 at 11:48 pm #

        We’re on the same line.
        I should give a medal to every person who understands that I’m not just making fun of ED. It goes much deeper than that. Those who thinks so just want to get baby-talked, honey-smooched and don’t want to admit to themselves that life ain’t rainbows and sunshine like in Care Bears world. Imo, they are just setting themselves up to functional anorexia (definition of OK weight but disordered behaviors) or relapse, because they aren’t able to face the reality and to view things from a normal person’s perspective.

  10. Fiona July 28, 2012 at 8:23 am #

    It’s been ages and ages and I haven’t seen you around on GOMI either. Hoping you are okay, busy, living life. Give us a yell if you are online please? 🙂

  11. TwistyShakes April 9, 2014 at 3:08 pm #

    Oh. I love your blog! It’s so mean and honest yet funny.
    I love your approach on EDs. Motivates me to try harder.
    I totally agree, you’re alone in this world and if you need reassurance and encouragement every time to eat food, then you’re setting up a spell bound for disaster. It’s not the eating habits that matter but the mentality. 🙂

    Is it just me or does ED make you think of erectile dysfunction as well? (Am I the only pervert here?)

    • asianbitch April 9, 2014 at 10:10 pm #

      I had my ED before I knew anything about sex, haha.
      But your username, ”TwistyShakes”, makes me think of something else. So you are not the only pervert.

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